Quickies can be fun, occasionally. However, as a steady diet, quickies are unsatisfying and even damaging to an intimate relationship. Most men, and their women, desire to make love longer.
Mother Nature played an interesting trick on us. The average man ejaculates after 7 minutes of stroking. The average woman orgasms after 40 minutes. Fortunately today, men and women are much more interested in a satisfying love life than in obligatory sex.
Women want longer. And men are finding enormous benefits for themselves as well, when lovemaking lasts and lasts.
Why The Secrets of Ancient Tantra Can Help
Tantric practices are becoming increasingly popular. Why? Because they are effective in teaching ways to share more and more pleasure. Your sex life can change dramatically for the better, bringing ecstatic lovemaking and longer lasting erections for both of you to enjoy.
In the western world, tension is associated with sex and sexual pleasure. Psychological and physical tension can limit us sexually. Why do so many people want more stimulation and novelty to get aroused? They have numbed themselves and need more and more intense sensations in order to feel.
For example, when the muscles of the pelvic floor are tightened, as during thrusting, the blood flow to the genitals is actually reduced. The result is a less predictable erection for the guy. A women with much tension in her pelvis will have orgasms that are less powerful than she is capable of.
Tantric practices can teach you to generate orgasmic energy within yourself and involve the whole body in the pleasure process.
Here are some of the essential elements of Tantric practice.
Learning to relax during sexual play is not simple, but it is essential. Tantric rituals serve the purpose of energetically entering into a special space dedicated to pleasure and loveplay. Leave your mind at the bedroom door.
Being in the Moment
Letting go of your daily stressors so you can be in the moment is important to ecstatic lovemaking.
Entering into loveplay without the expectation of intercourse can be enormously freeing for both of you. Go where your senses take you. Don’t force anything. You might even like to give up the word foreplay and substitute loveplay. When your mind is on the future, you can’t be in the present.
Relaxing Your Physical Body
You can practice relaxing your pelvic muscles during lovemaking by being aware of your tension and releasing the muscles. Notice how the sensations change as you relax, perhaps they even intensify.
You may also practice strengthening the pelvic muscles using Kegels. Tighten the muscles of the pelvic floor, hold for 5 seconds, then totally relax. Build up the number of these you can do to 50-100 a day. Each relaxation will become greater with practice. Your overall ability to relax those muscles increases as you strengthen the muscles.
Strong pelvic muscles will enhance all aspects of your lovemaking, including the man’s ability to hold an erection without ejaculation and the woman’s ability to have powerful orgasms.
Focusing on the Senses
When you stay in the moment, it is easier to feel the senses. And when you focus on the sensations, even the subtle ones, you will find it easier to stay in the present. Massages, bathing, food games can all help you get into your senses.
Laughing at life includes laughing at yourself and laughing at your sexuality on occasion. Be light about all this.
Avoid Rushing to Orgasm
Tantra is about pleasure and extending ecstasy. Prolonged states of ecstasy can be yours without ejaculation. Enjoy the journey to orgasm, learn new ways to experience orgasm.
How Do You Like to Be Loved? (Practice)
Being in sync with your partner is another wonderful way to relax and go deeper into sexual pleasure. This is a fun practice even if you know your partner well.
* Choose who will be first to receive. Each partner has 15 – 30 minutes or more.
* In great detail, describe how you like to initiate sexual play,
* Demonstrate carefully how you like to be touched, caressed.
* Show your partner how your Yoni (vulva) or Vajra (penis) likes to be approached, touched, and stroked.
* If you want to add a fantasy, go for it.
Now change roles. Each of you are going to be very turned on. Do what comes naturally and enjoy. Talk about your reactions and feelings afterwards.
Lovemaking without goals, in a state of relaxation might look something like this: touching, kissing, licking, oral sex, each giving and receiving as the mood strikes, penetration and back again to oral sex, kissing, changing position, penetration, relaxing in the reverie, more oral sex, more kissing, touching, etc., etc.
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